


Crossing the Line

by PeppermintGlow



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-24 17:24:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6160981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeppermintGlow/pseuds/PeppermintGlow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joshua thinks Seungkwan wants to be with Vernon, so they 'date' to make him jealous. Seungkwan can't figure out why his boyfriend won't kiss him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crossing the Line

The news of Seungcheol and Hansol becoming a _thing_ was not so much real news as an update: everybody or almost everybody already knew they were spending a little too much time with each other: it was simply a surprise it took them so long to come clean.

“…Joshua?”

He looked up. “Hey, Seungkwan, come on in.” Joshua turned in his seat, putting down his guitar down. “What’s up?”

The boy was nervous. _So_ nervous. But if Hansol could do it then so could he. “Uh…” He pulled on his own sleeve. “Listen, I’ve been thinking…”

“Ahuh?”

“Will you go out on a date with me?”

Joshua’s eyebrows rose a little. “What?”

“We-well I mean, I’m jealous of Hansol, they have-”

Everything clicked into place for Joshua: the wanton stares Seungkwan would send Vernon, how he followed him like a lost puppy dog, how Seungkwan always sat as close to Vernon as possible. Seungkwan was in love, and jealousy might get him his way.

Joshua turned away a little. “Sure, Seungkwan. I’ll be your boyfriend.”

The smaller boy’s heart skipped two beats. “B-boyfriend? Really? You will!”

“Sure.”

“Thank you!” Seungkwan’s little arms went around Joshua. “Thank you thank you thank you! So, date? Should we make it a double with Hansol?”

“Sure,” Joshua smiled kindly.

“You’re the best, hyung.”

When Seungkwan left the room, Joshua flopped down on his pillow and sighed. He loved Seungkwan. A lot. Admired him. And seeing him hurt was one of the hardest things in Joshua’s life. But a twisting feeling in Joshua’s gut told him he’d just made a _huge_ mistake. Dreaming about being Seungkwan’s boyfriend was one thing – pretending to _be_ Seungkwan’s boyfriend so he could get back at Vernon? Potentially disastrous.

It was obvious after the first movie and dinner that Hansol wouldn’t be swayed so easily: he was glued to his boyfriend, hanging on every word from his lips.

Seungkwan, Joshua had to admit, was an amazing actor: he held Joshua’s hand during the movie and leaned his head on Joshua’s shoulder, even blushing now and then.

All of it made Joshua’s heart flutter. Seungkwan, looking at _him_ the way he’d always wanted. Holding _his_ hand. Blushing at _his_ harmless winks. Seungkwan wanting to be with Joshua.

He had to constantly remind himself: _it’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real._ Seungkwan liked Vernon. Not Joshua. Joshua was a prop, a means to an end. But if that end made Seungkwan happy, he’d do it a thousand times.

_It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not real._

 

* * *

 

 

23 dates later, Seungkwan burst into tears.

“Hey, shhhh, come here,” Hansol cooed, hugging his best friend. “It’s okay, shhhh. I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding. Or maybe he’s a bit shy. You know Joshua. He’s a bit slow on the uptake.”

“I- I just want him to kiss me,” Seungkwan sniffled. “J-Just one little kiss! It doesn’t have to be on the lips! I just want him to like me…”

“If he didn’t like you, you wouldn’t be boyfriends.”

“I know but…” The vocalist swallowed thickly. “If I try to kiss him he turns away, I… I just want to… I mean, I know I’m not handsome but-”

“You’re handsome,” Vernon reassured.

“But he doesn’t even want to _kiss_ me!”

“Shhhh, you don’t know that. Knowing Joshua, he probably hasn’t even thought of it before.”

“I… he hasn’t told me he loves me, either.”

“…really? Not ever?”

Seungkwan shook his head.

“…now that’s weird.”

Apparently that was not the right thing to say, because it made Seungkwan just cry more.

“Oh, now, now, I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant. No, no, no, please don’t cry.” The boy was at a bit of a loss. “You know… maybe you just, uh… need to ask him.”

“Ask him?”

“You think Coups and I don’t have communicative problems? Just ask him. It’s the best way.”

 

* * *

 

 

Seungkwan and Joshua often went on their own dates, without their rapper entourage: Joshua gathered it was a way to make sure 100% that Vernon believed they were dating. So they held hands, sitting in the park, licking their ice-creams.

“Hyung, I have a question.”

“Shoot.”

“Why do you not want to kiss me?”

Joshua practically swallowed his own tongue. “Excuse me?”

“You never kiss me.” Seungkwan wasn’t often like this, so timid and insecure, pulling on his own sleeve. “Like, on the cheek or lips… it’s not how I imaged couples to be.”

Joshua sighed, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his delicate nose. “I won’t kiss you.”

Seungkwan jumped a little, staring up with desperate eyes.

“I’m only _pretending_ to be your boyfriend. I’ll do lots for you, Seungkwan. But kissing is where I draw the line, before that line becomes too blurred. This is a farce and I’m just your puppet but there’s some tunes I won’t dace to.” _Or I’ll never want to stop._

There was a moment of silence until Joshua opened his eyes.

Silent tears of fury were running down Seungkwan’s cheeks, surprising his pretend-boyfriend: the look on his face quickly grew from surprised, to mortified, to _hell hath no fury._

“Fuck you,” he whispered brokenly before the anger seeped into his voice. “Fuck you! I hate you!”

Soon the boy was running out of the park at top speed and Joshua was left with his ice-cream on the bench beside him, a red hand mark on his cheek.

_Did… Did Seungkwan just slap me in the face?_

 

* * *

 

 

It took Joshua a couple of hours to get home: when he did, Vernon was waiting at the front door, arms crossed. “Hyung, we need to talk.” From one of the rooms there was a faint wailing sound of a crying boy that made everything in Joshua’s body ache.

The two sat down in another room.

“So, you mind explaining what happened today?”

“I’m… not so sure… myself.”

“Seungkwan isn’t sobbing because _not sure_ , he’s crying because his _boyfriend_ just said some pretty horrible things to him.” Vernon raised a single eyebrow.

“We’re not really boyfriends,” Joshua finally said softly.

“Oh no?”

“No. It was a farce. He… likes… you. He asked me out because he wanted to make you jealous. It wasn’t working.”

It took the younger boy a while to process that.

“Okay, but he’s had a crush on you for about two years now.”

Joshua frowned in disbelief. “What?”

“Like, don’t get me wrong, your theory is cute, but I know for a fact he’s had a crush on you since forever, and when Seungcheol and I finally got together, it gave him courage enough to ask you out on a date. Then _you_ asked _him_ to be your boyfriend.”

Joshua was immobile, stunned.

“Dude… you thought he was asking you to _pretend_? He’s like a _brother_ to me. He _loves_ you. And you didn’t even kiss him or told him you loved him…”

“I thought he’d hate me forever,” Joshua whispered through unmoving lips.

“No, he’d fall into your arms and be a lot more pleasant when he’s hungry.”

Jun walked into the room to grab a stick of deodorant and laughed. “Yeah right. Like a boyfriend could make Seungkwan less cranky before dinner time.”

“…point,” the two others answered in chorus.

“Dude… you better go in there and explain yourself.” Vernon shook his head slowly. “Did you not like him either? Don’t lie to me, I talk to Jeonghan.”

“Seungkwan!” Within seconds Joshua was on his feet and moving – rushing into the other room where Seungkwan sat, cheeks finally dry, with Seungcheol.

The leader stroked his vocalist’s hair softly. “I’ll leave.”

When he shut the door, Seungkwan’s expression was menacing. “What do _you_ want?”

Joshua took three steps forward, cupped Seungkwan’s face in his hands and kissed him. In that small, happy kiss there was more emotion than the boy had dared felt: happiness, anger, passion, in great quantities. He was here. Holding Seungkwan. Kissing him. Kissing _Seungkwan_. The stuff of dreams.

“I love you.” It was all he left time for before assaulting Seungkwan’s lips again: a briefer period this time, soon saying it over and over in between kisses so fast Seungkwan couldn’t keep up. “I love you, I love you, I love you-”

“Wh-who-whoa, whoa, whoa! Back off!” Seungkwan forcibly pushed the singer off him. “What the fuck? You can’t just randomly up and kiss somebody like that after telling them such shit earlier!”

“I’m sorry.” Since Seungkwan was sitting on the bed, Joshua knelt down in front of him. “When you first asked me and mentioned Hansol – for a long time I thought _you_ liked him. I thought you wanted me to pretend to be your boyfriend to make him jealous.”

The realization that Joshua might be an idiot began to dawn on Seungkwan’s face.

“You idiot! Who would come up with a plan like that?! And better yet – why would you _believe_ a plan like that?!”

“And I love you. And I’d do anything to see you happy. Even if it meant with Hansol. So I played along. And I liked it so much but I was afraid to cross the line and let myself hope… Seungkwan, I’m sorry. I’ve hurt you so badly all this time, because I thought you wanted to be with Vernon…”

Seungkwan’s nose wrinkled. “Vernon’s like my _brother_ ,” he mumbled in disgust.

“I know. I know and I’m so sorry.” Joshua took Seungkwan’s hands in his own on the small boy’s lap. “…Okay, it might be much to ask, but… I love you. And if you could give me another chance I swear I’ll do everything to make you happy.” Joshua’s heart was beating so hard it was painful. “Seungkwan you don’t know how much… how long… I… please?” His fingers were on Seungkwan’s hands, his knuckles, his fingertips: anywhere that Joshua could reach.

For such a shy, sweet boy, once he could have what he wanted his lips became a little wild.

Eventually, Seungkwan nodded a little, sniffing. “You really like me?”

Within seconds one of Joshua’s knees was on the bed and his hands were cupping Seungkwan’s face again, holding him as he pushed him down to the duvet and kissed him deeply, over and over again, gasps of happiness mingling. Joshua could barely stop: only to trace Seungkwan’s cheeks, lips, and eyes – before quickly kissing him over and over again.

“Hyung- hyung!” Seungkwan laughed happily, gripping him by the shoulders. “Isn’t pressing me down to a bed and kissing me like this too much?”

“Does it make you happy?”

The boy nodded.

“Then what’s too much got to do with anything?” Joshua growled happily, smirking as he kissed his boyfriend again. “I love you, Seungkwan.”

The boy who had been all tears that day was now all happy smiles, looking up at his boyfriend. “I love you too.”

Joshua simply smirked, biting his lip as he hovered over the boy he loved. “Thanks for the slap.”

Seungkwan’s hands moved to his mouth in horrified shock, whispering. “ _Oh!_ ”

“It’s okay, it doesn’t hurt. You hit like a girl.”

“You son of a-”

Seungkwan didn’t get to finish his insult. He was too busy having his mouth defiled by Joshua’s tongue.


End file.
